Between Love and Hate
by Yeong Won Hi
Summary: Kikyou couldn't bring herself to kill the one person that she truly loved. She's been torn apart and mended together, but only with hate and revenge. Will she overcome these emotions? pls rr!


A/N: Hey there! This is my first fanfic, so it might not be good. My story here is about Kikyou (Even though I think she's a bit insane). This is going to be in her point of view and there might be some incorrect information in here. But anyway...please read and review!  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Inuyasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi and hence the word Fanfiction.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Between Love and Hate  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
His long, silvery-white hair glistened under the late, afternoon sun. It shined magnificently. And his eyes, his beautiful golden-brown eyes... These are what catch my attention towards him. Those eyes of his are calm; they somehow show the feelings of trust and comfort. But when you see him for the first time, he might not show these feelings at all; they'll either show discomfort or arrogance. His eyes are not really the reasons why I have these strange feelings of affection for the half-human, half- demon, Inuyasha.  
  
I, Kikyou, the shrine priestess of this 'Feudal Japan' watched him one day. His eyes were closed and he was sound asleep while he sat upon a tree branch. His breathing was steady: peaceful and calm at the same time. It wasn't fast nor was it slow paced. It was just steady and nothing more.  
  
The time that we've spent with each other had been wonderful to me, but we are only friends. These past few weeks of friendship between Inuyasha and I, will always remain in my mind as my fondest of all memories. I will always cherish it. Always...  
  
My likeness towards the half-demon had grown stronger than ever. It grew with each passing day and soon my feelings for him had somehow become love. Even though he is a hanyou and I am a human and a miko, I would still feel this way about him. But there was one problem.. I've never told Inuyasha how I felt and yet, I didn't know how he feels about me.  
  
It was like that until that one day. I had almost fallen to the ground, but I didn't. Instead, I had fallen into Inuyasha's arms. While I was in his arms, I looked up and gazed into his golden-brown eyes. I then embraced him and after for a short moment, he embraced me back. By this, I knew that Inuyasha felt the same way about me.  
  
But the happiness we both shared was soon shattered. It was as fragile as a glass: easily corrupted and broken. He betrayed me and he had stolen the Shikon no Tama, the Jewel of Four Souls, the jewel that would turn him into a full-fledged demon. At first, he wanted to become a human... For me... But that was soon changed. I was a foolish human, believing every word that he said; I was betrayed, betrayed by the hanyou. I wanted to take away his life, even if it mean by taking my own life as well.  
  
With a bow and arrow in my hand, I sealed him to a tree, where I hoped that he would stay for the rest of his life. I was too weak from the injuries that I had received from that half-demon. My injuries were too severe for me to go on, I cannot be healed. I had soon died.  
  
* * *  
  
This incident had happened fifty years ago. It's hard to believe that it had all happened that long ago. But that was when I died for the first time, or so I thought. A witch molded me a body made from earth and bones and my soul was put into it. I was not supposed to come back! I was supposed to be dead....never to come back into this world. I soon fought with Inuyasha again, he was alive, but he should be dead! I sealed him to a tree! How can he be alive again? Never-mind for that matter.... All that matters is that now I have my own body and soul, I was free. But my soul was almost taken away from me again. So I fled and I had fallen from a cliff and down into a ravine.  
  
I survived that long fall, though I do not know why and how. I believe that it was because my soul is not at peace; it is disturbed and broken. But my soul is not the only part of me that is broken.. It is my heart, and it is in anguish; torn between the love and hatred that I feel for Inuyasha. However, I must still take his life.  
  
Even though I am dead, I walk amongst the living. I must take the souls of young maidens so that I could sustain my body and form. During one night, I came upon the one who is my 'reincarnation.' Her name was Kagome, and she was an interference to me. That was why I silenced her and she became paralyzed. No one can see or hear her but I.  
  
During the short time she was with me, she told me that a demon named Naraku had deceived both Inuyasha and I, making us both despise each other until we were both dead. I didn't believe her until I felt his presence, Inuyasha's presence. He came and told me that he truly cared for me and that he had never stopped thinking about me, not even for an instant. I wanted to believe him. I took a step closer to him and placed my left hand upon his right cheek and kissed him. I then embraced him like I did once before fifty years ago. I felt weak inside...I wanted to be with him. But my hatred for him was still the same.  
  
The girl, Kagome, broke free from my spell and Inuyasha had left me once more. He rushed to her side, leaving me all alone. "Does that girl mean more to you than I do, Inuyasha?" I asked him, but he didn't respond and I understood why. He's in love with her, Kagome. I was beginning to leave when I told him that even though I am not real, the kiss that I gave to him was. Then I vanished away.  
  
From time to time, I have happened to see Inuyasha waking along in a forest or meadow, looking for a Shikon shard. But whenever I see him, he is not alone; Kagome is always with him. Every time I see them together, I would somehow get this feeling of jealousy within me. Inuyasha and his friends could have sensed me, but they couldn't, for my aura is low. It is impossible for them to detect me; either way, I must still be careful whenever I am near them.  
  
I may be dead, though I appear to not be I am somewhat alive. But I do not feel alive; I feel more alone than ever now. My spirit and soul should now be at rest, but it is not and I cannot help it. My heart is still in anguish and it is still broken. As long as Inuyasha is alive, I cannot be at peace. My hatred for him controls my actions. It is still the same and yet, I can always change the way I feel...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Japanese Words:  
  
Hanyou - A half-demon creature like Inuyasha  
  
Miko - A priestess like Kikyou  
  
Sorry! There are only a few  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Hey there again! Did you like it? Yes or no...but anyways....Please review! Remember that this is my first fanfic, so it might not be good. Some info here might be wrong and writing in first person is kinda hard. Well, just tell me what you think about this fanfic when you review! I was thinking about this after I watched "Kagome's Voice and Kikyou's Kiss" for about the fourth time. So I kinda wrote it down. Please review!  
  
Ja! 


End file.
